2. Trust Your Gut

2. Trust your Gut

Trusting Your Gut

So, what does this mean, trusting your gut?  If you go out traveling by yourself, trusting your gut will save your life. If you feel something funny about someone you are meeting or feel something is sketchy, you trust your gut and you book it. They say, never go to a secondary location with someone you think is dangerous.   

Applying it to Therapy

So, if we keep this concept in mind, it goes the same with picking your therapist. I guess to trust your gut there's going to be an assumption that you trust yourself to some level. If you don't, then it usually has to do with a connection with your mind, body, and spirit, and reconnecting them. But we can talk about that later, a bit more, but for now, let’s say you trust your gut and you practice this often.

Making the Right Decision

Ok, so we trust our gut and we know what that's about, let's say. It goes the same with trusting yourself with making your decision with a therapist. A picture says a lot, a blurb about their bio says a lot, their website says a lot. If they don’t have a website, that says a lot. If they work for a firm, that says a lot, we get the drift. Who they work for, how they function, who they hire, how their secretary acts and sends emails, how they write emails, this all says a lot.

Trusting the Process

So you got to go with the flow and trust your instinct, and from the moment you walk into the office to meeting the therapist to leaving to processing the session, you got to trust yourself and say, is this for me?  Yes. And if not, then just don’t rebook.

Understanding Therapy

Keeping in mind, therapy is not about flowers and roses, and therapy is not like getting a facial or going to the spa. Therapy is about working on yourself. We can get into this more later about what therapy is about—but to keep things short, trust yourself in the process and trust your process. 

The Importance of the Therapist-Client Relationship 

Do you like your therapist? Does your therapist like you? This matters because research shows that most of the progress comes from the relationship.
I can’t wait to talk to you more about therapy alliance and how powerful this is and internalizing the relationship from your therapist to your outer world. 

Focus on Yourself 

But again, to keep things as short as possible and get to the point, trust yourself and trust your gut. You are going to therapy for you and not your therapist. Your therapist, if they are good, has a revolving door, and they are constantly in the business of firing themselves and terminating with clients when the work is done. 

That's because we are very aware of the dual interest in the therapy relationship; we make a living, and we are making you your own therapist, so we all hopefully know we have to work efficiently and effectively, so don't worry about your therapist. 

Balancing Support and Challenge

Do it for you; don’t put your therapist first. For Bat Man's sake, don't put your therapist first in therapy. It's supposed to be a place where you can focus on you and work on you, so you have to have a space you can trust and feel good in. Keeping in mind again - if your therapist is always just making you feel better, providing reassurance - that's for another topic. 

You don't want an enabling relationship or just a reassuring relationship; you want a good blend of balance, challenging you, providing broader perspectives, deep processing work, in between session coping strategies, understanding, with lots of compassion and empathy so you can do it ultimately DIY.

Summary

🌀 I hope this will emphasize the importance of trusting one’s instincts when choosing a therapist, comparing it to trusting your gut in potentially dangerous situations. 

🔍 I highlight key factors to consider, such as the therapist's online presence, their work environment, and the dynamics of the therapist-client relationship. 

💪  I want to remind you therapy is not a purely positive experience, but rather a challenging and introspective process, and this is where the value is in therapy to expand your capacities. 

🔥 Good therapists facilitate progress and eventually "fire themselves" when the client is ready to move on; this is a practical and healthy perspective on the therapeutic relationship. 

🔑 I hope to convey a clear message about self-trust and the critical nature of the therapeutic alliance.

🤝 I hope you walk away with an understanding of the importance of the therapist-client relationship and the need for clients to prioritize their own growth in therapy. 

🌈 I hope also the idea is reinforced that effective therapy involves both challenging the client and providing support and compassion.

🚪 You want a therapist with a "revolving door," where the goal is to empower clients to become their own therapists; this is a perspective I hope all therapists can maintain vs. pathologizing clients to keep them in their practice indefinitely. 

❤️ Have a clear focus on self-trust and the therapeutic process, while always caution against dependency on your therapist.

🧠 I emphasize deep processing work with in-between session coping strategies; this will add depth to your understanding of what to look for in a therapist. 

🛠️ Effective therapy involves both challenge and support. 

Lee Park, RCT-C, MA, BHons
www.canadaonlinetherapy.com

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